A Day in the Life of a Welfare Bum

by Bud Meyers, published April 22, 2015

The very first thing you do after you wake up in the morning is to run out to get a nice surf and turf for breakfast; and then you do some actual surfing. Then it’s off to the tattoo parlor.

Then later you might buy a car, or have a mid-morning séance with a psychic advisor. At lunch you use your food stamps to buy some unhealthy food (like nachos, cookies and a Coke). Later in the afternoon you take a trip to the local casino, and using your EBT card, do some afternoon gambling and drinking — and also do some drugs.

Then you do some more drugs, before taking a trip to the mall for some shopping, buying jewelry and lingerie — and maybe you’ll even catch a movie while you’re there.

In the evening you have crab legs for dinner, and afterwards, enjoy a good cigar. Then you go to a strip club; and later take that special someone (that you just met) on a romantic cruise, and do some more drinking and drugs.

You’ve been living life in the fast lane and partying like it’s 1999 (or is 1929?) — and all at the expense of the honest, God-fearing, hard-working, under-paid American taxpayers.

Meanwhile, the federal government is running on empty and quickly going broke, with barely enough to pay the CEOs of multi-billion-dollar defense contractors (And the rich already pay far too much in taxes.)

And so, everyone else is blaming all of the nation’s woes on you (and your dancing welfare queen). Now the good people have risen up, and they are storming the ramparts with torches and pitchforks — because they are coming for you, the welfare cheater.

Huffington Post: “Based on Republican proposals to reform government programs, one might think being on public assistance is a righteous party. Republicans in the U.S. Congress and in state legislatures around the country seem bent on portraying welfare recipients as having a lavish and leisurely lifestyle on the government’s dime.”